Around the World in 80 Ways

Two scientists, a bachelor and a married man (with five boys) travel by US Navy ships (including a Polaris submarine), Royal Navy ships, and more conventional means around the world, combining business and pleasure and descriptions of exotic travel spots. The story, if one exists other than the series of related incidents in Tokyo, Athens, Beirut, the Philippines, Singapore, on HMS Victorious and HMS Eagle, India, London, etc., is of a confirmed high-living bachelor introducing the "good life" to his more straight-laced friend, the author. It is written in first person and much of it in dialogue.

Synopsis of Chapters:

  1. Tourists or Travelers

    It is established that both Fred and I are basically travelers, not tourists. But I still study and plan, he just lets things happen. We miss all the shrines at Nikko but get into a Japanese household and ride their buses as one of them. Naturally, Fred finds a feminine travel companion.

  2. Veni, Vide, ---

    Fred sizes up that I need some introduction to Martinis. The rigors of a flight from California to Athens throw our diurnal cycle slightly off kilter. Sightseeing in Athens from midnight to two gives us a cursory look at some ladies of the night.

  3. Arabian Night

    We see Beirut, Biblos, and Baalbek, but primarily shepherds, sheep, caravans and bazaars. We eat all the parts of sheep left off American tables. Fred had the telephone number of a belly dancer and was to meet her in Damascus. We got stopped at the border because our passport wasn't stamped (since we came ashore as civilians from a navy ship).

  4. Money Changers in the Temple

    In Jerusalem we get led off the beaten tourist path by a bunch of Arabian sharpies. They sell us Egyptian money, cheap, and then tell us it really is illegal to take it into Egypt, but everyone does it. In the process we see the holy land, which is somewhat foreign to Fred's natural instincts.

  5. Cairo Caper

    Fred who is the original tightwad, gets taken on a camel hassock and has to unsnarl it all. We met two American school marms who provide us with a plausible reason for not spending any officially obtained money.

  6. Shopping for Ski Boots

    In an Interlaken hotel the management shifts our room. I find out about it but fall asleep in our new room before Fred gets back from shopping for ski boots. He blunders into our old room and finds some English newlyweds.

  7. A Tale of Two Girls

    Near Lancaster Gate in London a girl being accosted by a recent immigrant runs over to us pretending we're old friends. We soon are. Later, in Soho, Fred goes in to find out what it costs if a man "needs a girl". It cost too much to find out what the girl was needed for.

  8. Happiness is a Smorgasbord.

    Fred liked food better than women. We plan and partially execute a three-hour Smorgasbord before the theatre. We forgot it was Sunday; the play is the thing. In Washington we make connections for making it all around the world.

  9. The Blue and the Gold

    A week aboard a Polaris Submarine, plus an unexpected weekend on Waikiki beach.

  10. One Martini

    Another foul-up on passports and visas complicated by Fred's miserly habit of not having any money left to change back when we leave one country for another.

  11. Banawe Bonanza

    A rush trip, courtesy navy airmail run, to Bagio and a two day taxi trip into the Luzon highlands. Unbelievable beauty, including two nurses at a missionary hospital, found too late.

  12. Olongapo Misadventure

    What happens to men too young and/or too long at sea in a place where there is nothing uplifting to do? And much of everything else.

  13. A la Carte

    After seeing, and smelling, the Chinese foods of Singapore as prepared and served from itinerant carts, I persuaded Fred to go to a real Chinese restaurant. He did. After detailed and elaborate dickering with the waiter for foods done just right, I see to my dismay the waiter go to the window and sub-contract all the orders out to the itinerant Chinese and their carts standing below.


    Fred's introduction to King Neptune at the equator. Life and custom aboard and a sudden departure at the island of Gan in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

  15. Embassy Tour

    Sightseeing in and around Bangkok in the intervening minutes between the ordeals of getting visas we didn't think we needed.

  16. Let A Woman in Your Life

    Fred finally meets the "right" girl in Agra. My role as substitute was rather pleasant but turned out disastrously, for Fred at least, when she met an old girl friend in New Delhi.

  17. Royal (Navy) Living

    In many respects life aboard HMS EAGLE was better than aboard the HMS VICTORIOUS. Namely we stopped at Malta, not Gan. Malta should be better known to tourists and probably will be, to its detriment.

  18. Spanish Interlude

Fred leaves for Paris. My conscience, plus some help from on high, saves me from finding out if I'd learned too much from Fred.